Sitting down and watching The Nanny on Hallmark while eating a nice cold left over dinner, in walks my brother from work. I was a bit surprised. He doesn't come home early that often but I just shrugged it off. He sat by me and stole the fresh oranges I halved to 6 in a little bowl near my foot.
I shot him a glare which went unnoticed. Nothing much to do, I just continued to dug into my meal when he asked, "Do you always talk to your boyfriend?"
Swallowing a bit too hard, I immediately went into defensive. No, I don't.
Alright, Alright. I do. Honestly, I don't get much attention from men much and his full fascination towards me keeps me intrigue. And he knows how to keep me entertained and hooked like a starved rabbit with a piece of carrot dangling infront of its face. He knows how much to give to keep me in check and knows when to loosen the line so he won't have to suffocate. I really really like him.
"You shouldn't talk to him often," he continued. I mentally rolled my eyes. All this time you were busy with your studies and now you're going to act 'the big brother' part? It's kindda a bit too late for that but I misjudged. He wasn't coming from that angle with his conversation.
"If you talk to him to much, then when you get married, you'll have nothing to talk about. You'll get bored easily," he supplied while continuing to munch on another piece of orange. His sixth. "You should get married quickly."
I know him well enough to pick the underlying meaning: It's just that I fell in love after marriage, sis. There's still so much I don't know about her and it keeps fueling me with love.
I sighed and wish I could tell him that It's different for you, brother. I don't have your courage. And I'm not a man. I want to get married. Heavens, I'm a sex addict. After my first mistake, I wanted more. Ever since I known him, I wished time would move faster already so I can kiss him heatedly and make love to him and show him how much I love him romantically, instead of rubbing myself raw to hentai (sex comic) to get relived from this sexual frustration I'm feeling. Yeah, dirty little mind I have here but it's one of many unsaid discoveries I've discovered.
Anywho, I can't initiate it. I can't demand to him that I want to get married. What will he think? I want to give him freedom to enjoy his bachelorhood before he has to commit himself to anything. I don't want him to regret anything. Besides, he's not like you. He doesn't saves money for the sole purpose of getting married and have kids after he finised studying. He's the type to save it so he could spent it on gadgets or thinggamabob. It'll be a long wait for me, brother. This topic isn't a simple one to get to talking about. And I'm not sure I'm the one he would want to commit to.
I still have a lot to learn and free myself of this prison.
I need a change. I can't be a lazy lion. I need to be attentive and knowledgeable about the world around me.
But how do I do that?
I shot him a glare which went unnoticed. Nothing much to do, I just continued to dug into my meal when he asked, "Do you always talk to your boyfriend?"
Swallowing a bit too hard, I immediately went into defensive. No, I don't.
Alright, Alright. I do. Honestly, I don't get much attention from men much and his full fascination towards me keeps me intrigue. And he knows how to keep me entertained and hooked like a starved rabbit with a piece of carrot dangling infront of its face. He knows how much to give to keep me in check and knows when to loosen the line so he won't have to suffocate. I really really like him.
"You shouldn't talk to him often," he continued. I mentally rolled my eyes. All this time you were busy with your studies and now you're going to act 'the big brother' part? It's kindda a bit too late for that but I misjudged. He wasn't coming from that angle with his conversation.
"If you talk to him to much, then when you get married, you'll have nothing to talk about. You'll get bored easily," he supplied while continuing to munch on another piece of orange. His sixth. "You should get married quickly."
I know him well enough to pick the underlying meaning: It's just that I fell in love after marriage, sis. There's still so much I don't know about her and it keeps fueling me with love.
I sighed and wish I could tell him that It's different for you, brother. I don't have your courage. And I'm not a man. I want to get married. Heavens, I'm a sex addict. After my first mistake, I wanted more. Ever since I known him, I wished time would move faster already so I can kiss him heatedly and make love to him and show him how much I love him romantically, instead of rubbing myself raw to hentai (sex comic) to get relived from this sexual frustration I'm feeling. Yeah, dirty little mind I have here but it's one of many unsaid discoveries I've discovered.
Anywho, I can't initiate it. I can't demand to him that I want to get married. What will he think? I want to give him freedom to enjoy his bachelorhood before he has to commit himself to anything. I don't want him to regret anything. Besides, he's not like you. He doesn't saves money for the sole purpose of getting married and have kids after he finised studying. He's the type to save it so he could spent it on gadgets or thinggamabob. It'll be a long wait for me, brother. This topic isn't a simple one to get to talking about. And I'm not sure I'm the one he would want to commit to.
I still have a lot to learn and free myself of this prison.
I need a change. I can't be a lazy lion. I need to be attentive and knowledgeable about the world around me.
But how do I do that?
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